The author of Being Mortal, Atul Gawande, identified Loneliness, Dependency, and Boredom as the 3 AVOIDABLE PLAGUES OF OLD AGE.  Would you agree that much could be done to alleviate those three plagues!

Consider Plague #1—LONELINESS. I once asked my ninety year old grandmother what she considered the most difficult aspect of growing older. Nana was an educated woman of many interests—a retired teacher who began oil painting at age 50, she also took up square dancing in her second marriage. Nana traveled, and she wrote poetry. For sheer joy, she played her organ for hours without even glancing at the sheet music. This “can do” woman did not hesitate to answer my question. “Losing all of my friends,” was her succinct answer. What can we do to prevent such loneliness? When a dear friend of mine died in 2004, it hurt dreadfully. I would not have missed this friendship to avoid the pain of loss. In fact, I began to consider how many other potentially wonderful people I might have already missed by being self-protective and private. My conclusion was—too many! I also remembered my grandmother’s comment—losing her friends was the most difficult part of aging. Nana’s input has motivated me.

BE MORE ADVENTURESOME IN MAKING FRIENDS. I also asked God for younger friends. Since then, He has enriched my life with dear people, and several are young enough to be my children. I am so glad I decided to be more outgoing and connect with other generations. In youth, a few years difference in age makes a huge difference. In adulthood, however, the age difference melts away. The perspectives and experiences differ widely, but I find the ability to relate to one another is often present without any family connection at all. I am also willing to be the younger friend. One 94-year-old friend lives three thousand miles away, but we stay in touch by laughing and chatting regularly on the phone! What relational treasures we miss if we persist in socializing only with those in our own season of life. Please join me in avoiding the plague of loneliness for ourselves as well as for those we befriend.

    • Never abandon a friend—either yours or your father’s. When disaster strikes, you won’t have to ask your brother for assistance. It’s better to go to a neighbor than to a brother who lives far away. Proverbs 27:10
    • There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

PRACTICE HOSPITALITY. May I assure you I am not a Martha-Stewart type hostess, nor do I have a chance at winning the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. However, I find friends are delighted to be invited into our home as opposed to meeting in a restaurant or a coffee shop. Last week we were the recipients of hospitality—a couple at church invited us to follow them home for dinner. What a joy it was to swap stories and get better acquainted. Hospitality is not a competition, but a boost to friendship that is scriptural! What a fun way to be obedient!

    • Always be eager to practice hospitality. Romans 12:13b

ENTER INTO THE PRESENCE OF ONE WHO WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU.  With Jesus, we are never alone, so we need not be lonely—ever. Psalms 100:4 is a crash course on how to connect with Him—thankfulness and praise open the door to experiencing the presence of God. If this is new to you, ask God to speak with you as you read your Bible. Learn how to be still and listen for the still, small voice encountered by Elijah (1 Kings 19:12). John likens this interaction to that of sheep recognizing their shepherd’s voice (John 10:4). Connecting with Jesus defeats the plague of loneliness.

    • Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. Psalm 100:4
    • Be still, and know that I am God! Psalms 46:10a
    • And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. John 14:16 NLT
    • And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Consider Plague #2—DEPENDENCY. It is possible to delay physical decline for decades with good nutrition and exercise. Eventually, the wear and tear of longevity takes its toll on the human body. Most older adults will experience some loss of mobility, strength, and balance. At some point, many will need assistance with activities of daily living (ADLs). However, Dr. Gawande encourages us to ask, Does the need for assistance  necessarily mean the end of all choices? 

In residential care facilities, one’s autonomy can be subject to the schedules, routines, and menus set by the staff. Even so, there are many benefits to living in a place designed to meet the needs of the elderly: prepared meals and housekeeping services, social interaction, transportation, and planned outings. When comparing potential residences that include such ongoing services, however, one would be wise to consider how much autonomy is allowed. Not all such institutions are the same. Assisted living differs from skilled nursing in offering several levels of care depending upon one’s needs. While some welcome the opportunity to meet and minister to their new neighbors in a retirement community, others are passionate about “aging in place” (continuing to live in one’s own home) to preserve their choices, existing relationships, and the comfort of familiarity. How might we maintain the privilege of choice after we have reached the point of needing some assistance? There are several options outside of residential care facilities, but they each require some research, planning, and cooperation.

HIRE ASSISTANCE with yard work, housework, finances and your personal care or purchase a condo or townhome that includes landscaping and exterior maintenance in its monthly fees. With such assistance, you can remain in your own home where you choose your schedule and the menus. Some long term care insurance policies cover this assistance once you are diagnosed with a chronic disease. The downside to this arrangement is twofold—the  cost and the need for supervision of the folks you have hired. To avoid elder abuse and/or elder fraud, it is advisable to involve a trusted third party.

THE VILLAGE MOVEMENT is driven by the desire of many to “age in place.” This is a network of folks organized to pool their talents and resources with the goal of helping one another maintain their independence as they age. This arrangement greatly reduces the cost of hiring assistance, and sharing such resources lessens one’s vulnerability in the marketplace. If you are interested, explore the following websites:

Whether or not there is a Village Movement is your area, you can become more interdependent by connecting with your own community. If you are not already, try becoming aware of your neighbors’ needs. Read your local newspaper and church bulletin to find ways to volunteer that you may enjoy. Consider joining the local food bank, a community garden, or mentoring in the schools. Keep trolling for opportunities to participate while you are able to give and share in group projects that will benefit others. When it is your turn to receive, it will be much easier because you have been contributing. You will not be a dependent person but part of a local caring adult network.

MULTI-GENERATIONAL LIVING ARRANGEMENTS can address the needs of the aging at the same time they facilitate the unique contributions an older family member is able to make to the household. Consider this solution while you are capable of assisting the younger generations in a significant way. Strong, mutually beneficial relationships are necessary, but there is such a movement afoot. Many families are adopting this age-old solution to the need for some assistance in the fourth quarter of life. Together Again by Niederhaus and Graham and When Your Parent Moves In by Horgan and Block address the unique concerns of multi-generational living.

PRESERVE YOUR POWER OF CHOICE BY EXERCISING IT NOW. It only makes sense to choose where and how you live now with a look at future transitions and possible limitations. At some point down the road, for example, you will no longer be able to drive. Why not select a home or condo that is within walking distance of your basic needs—the post office, the library, a restaurant or two, the movie theater, the grocery store? Get familiar with Uber and Lyft. As one moves through the decades, options become fewer, but we always have the option of looking to Jesus Christ—our Creator, Savior, Brother, Wonderful Counselor, Friend, Hope, High Priest, and our finish line.

    • Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 
    • Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. I Peter 5:6
    • A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
    • Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! Hebrews 12:1-3 MSG

Consider Plague #3—BOREDOM. It is very pleasant to be entertained—to attend a concert, watch a live play, or see an  especially good movie. Even so, a steady diet of entertainment be tedious. When I visit nursing homes, the residents are usually lying in bed with a TV blasting. I am even more saddened by the capable folks I meet who believe the lies of ageism —you are done, irrelevant, past your prime, out of date, or over the hill. What is most distressing is how self-disparaging are most seniors! Listen. They often mock themselves and the signs of aging. Perhaps you are doing it?! God declares long life to be a blessing (Proverbs 3:16), but it is received as a curse! Sadly, older people who embrace ageism experience shrinking worlds and develop negative outlooks. Conversation is dominated by health concerns or the bad news they watch on television. What can we do about this plague of boredom? What if “retirement” were whole-heartedly embraced as an opportunity to give back to our communities, invest in the next generation, and minister to those in need? Imagine what would happen in our churches, non-profits, and schools if there were an excess of willing volunteers to carry forward the love and truth of Jesus Christ?!

IF YOU ARE HERE, YOU HAVE A PURPOSE. Those who have responded to God’s call upon their lives are seldom bored—whatever their age, responsibilities, or the state of their health. Joni Erickson Tada is an example. She has, of course, experienced grief and struggle during her fifty years in a wheel chair. Joni lost her mobility but not her purpose. She is an artist, a writer, a speaker, and an advocate for the disabled! This delightful woman is a fruitful vine in God’s vineyard.

SERVING IS GROWTH PRODUCING AND ULTIMATELY SATISFYING. When you consider how to connect with your community and serve, you may open a whole new chapter of purpose. As you endeavor to meet the needs of others, you may stumble upon a gift that gives you great joy when exercised. Some call it “the sweet spot.” If you have not already done so, develop that talent. Perhaps former skills will find new applications, or old dreams will finally be realized. You may write books in one season of life and write to prisoners in another. Keep learning and growing. Take a class, read books, attend webinars, consult experts, join a writers’ group. Ask God how you are to serve him in this season.

WHATEVER THE STATE OF OUR HEALTH, WE CAN PRAY. God so treasures the prayers of his people that he keeps them in golden bowls like incense (Rev.8:3). He searches the whole earth for a man or woman to stand in the gap and pray (Ezekiel 22:30). Are you that man or woman? Have you been called for such a time as this (Esther 4:14)? There are many beautiful studies on prayer, powerful scriptures, and illuminating books. We are considered to be members of his royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9). Is God calling you into this privileged service? It is never too late to listen, to pray, to love.

    • And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28
    • I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 57:2

The 3 avoidable plagues of old age may be Loneliness, Dependency, and Boredom. However, with God’s help we can counteract all three!