1. CHOOSE YOUR AUDIENCE AND THUS YOUR VOICE: My brother, Brian Wilson, tells riveting adventure stories. Family gatherings often bring forth still another yarn, and I gleefully request that he write it down. I am collecting a sizable file! What fun it will be to edit his tall tales one day. His voice is the PRANKSTER—HERO, and so very lovable!! My friend, Allan Wilson, is writing his story to his young grandson. Consequently, his tale is a very personal one with affectionate references to the boy’s father. Allan’s narrative voice is the tender one of A LOVING GRANDFATHER. Accordingly, his childhood shenanigans are written about with humor, chagrin, and a gentle wisdom. Although my story is also a personal one of growing faith, I periodically adopt the voice of THE FAMILY HISTORIAN. I am attempting to answer for my descendants the same questions I’ve had about those who have gone before me. I want to explain to the younger ones the context of my stories—how very different was the American culture in which I grew up. To share God’s story in your story, you need not try and write the great American novel. Using the writing style or narrative voice God has given you, just focus on your audience and share what the Father has revealed to you. Have some fun.
2. CREATE YOUR TIMELINE: Many people begin their autobiography by announcing the year of their birth. It is rarely an inviting opening, but your birth date is the perfect beginning for your timeline. You may simply list the years of your life and begin filling in the events (both personal and historical) that occurred within them, or you may choose to construct a detailed Excel spreadsheet. It is up to you. I suggest you make it a fun activity and involve other family members. Bill Leslie suggests you delineate the different seasons of your life by the cars you’ve owned! Why not? The places you’ve lived? The jobs you’ve held? It is your story!
WHEN, WHERE, WHO, WHAT, WHY and HOW are the essential questions upon which every story is built. To fill in your timeline, here are some questions you might ask yourself. WHEN did you acquire siblings, move, or enjoy a special vacation? When did you leave home? Lose your parents? WHERE did you grow up, live and travel? WHO were your important friends or were they lacking? Who did you live with? WHAT did you do for fun as a youngster, a teen, a young adult? What was your biggest challenge? Your wildest adventure? The difficulty only God could overcome? What are some of your favorite memories? What has changed your life? WHY did you get your first job, or go to college, or join the military? Why did you persist when others quit? HOW have you supported yourself—perhaps trace your job history? How have you learned new things? How did your and/or your family weather economic downturns, layoffs, major illness? WHEN, WHERE, WHO, WHAT, WHY and HOW can certainly activate the storyteller in each of us.
Filling in your personal timeline just naturally sets you up to tell your life story with two inherent benefits. First, you will notice periods of time united by THEMES—perhaps a military experience, a change from farm to city life, or a season of travel and career exploration. Of course, this exercise will also bring up the hard times we are promised in the Bible. My family endured a trial that generated the refrain, And so the saga continues! Perhaps your saga is recovery from a divorce, a period of severe illness, or a career setback. It can be very illuminating to revisit these seasons prayerfully and ask God to give us new insights and understanding. Paul said our lives are like living epistles illustrating the gospel. As you work and re-work your timeline with the events and lessons of your life, you may find new clarity about the message of your life.
Secondly, taking the long view of your lifespan by means of a timeline enables you to give your descendants the cultural CONTEXT of your life. What historical events (local or world-wide) impacted you? Do make your reader aware of the technology you did not have, whether or not cars were lined up at gas stations, if there was a war going on, and who was president. When you are writing to future generations, help them grasp how different were the times about which you are writing. (I can remember when one dollar would buy 4 gallons of gas, 4 loaves of bread, or 4 pounds of ground beef!) A person born in the seventies, eighties, or nineties had a much different high school experience than one born during World War II. Giving context may alter readers’ assumptions drastically. The timeline exercise will equip you to write your narrative by helping you to identify the historical context as well as revealing the thematic elements of your life. Good writing!!
3. COLLECT YOUR IMPORTANT STORIES: As you work on your timeline, personal events and stories will come to mind that you may not have thought about in a very long time. Make a list of them. These are treasures to be explored and perhaps shared. The timeline will help you write your narrative, but your stories will illustrate the various seasons of your life and make the characters come alive to the reader. They are as valuable as photographs.
Near the end of my father’s life, his brother came from southern California for a rare visit. My siblings and our spouses all gathered together to give Dad and Uncle Jerry an entertaining evening together. After a lasagna dinner, we congregated in the living room, and the stories began. Uncle Jerry had heard none of them, and Dad had forgotten many—so we kids had a ripe audience. My brothers are great storytellers, and I got in a few myself. I can still hear the laughter in my heart. As that very special evening concluded, Uncle Jerry turned to my dad and said, Bernie, I can tell your family loves you, and you’ve had a good life. On his way home, my 87 year old father said with a big smile, I had forgotten how much fun we’ve had. Your family anecdotes add greatly to the richness of each individual’s life. Why not collect them and weave them into your story?
Some of our stories are quite personal, and we question sharing them. In contrast, you may find yourself telling a certain story yet again. Spare your family. Add it to your list. Some stories are more significant to us than anyone else. We will keep telling them until we figure them out, so let’s decipher. Others are entertaining and connect people. This type of story is often more fun to tell than to write. You might consider videotaping some of your favorite tales. If not, write and re-write it until you’ve captured it for the next generation.
4. JOIN A CLASS OR CRITIQUE GROUP: A critique group can be a memoir writer’s best friend. Look for a friendly group that is not competitive but united in their efforts to do well and help one another. I found such a class through an adult education program that was a community college spin-off. Since no credit was given for the class, academic requirements were non-existent. Contrary to some expectations concerning memoirs, not one single participant was famous! The funny, sad, and heartwarming stories we heard read aloud each week came from every walk of life. It was a delightful mix of life experience and writing ability.
One outstanding benefit of attending a critique group or a writing class is their scheduled meeting times. Specific dates on the calendar made me sit down at the keyboard, organize my thoughts, and actually write! Of course, the instructor gave many suggestions and answered our questions about grammar. However, I found the feedback from fellow class members was even more valuable. Did they get my point? laugh unexpectedly? sense my heart? or even tear up? Although we exchanged much encouragement, we were honest when we were puzzled or unable to follow each other’s story line. Such feedback improves everyone’s writing—dramatically. As helpful as it can be to hear the reactions of others, each memoir writer has the final say over their own material. It is YOUR story.
AUDIENCE + TIMELINE + STORIES + A CRITIQUE GROUP = ALL YOU NEED TO START WRITING YOUR STORY!!
