Can you recall a dramatic sports victory when the winning play was made just as the buzzer signaled the end of the game? Such stunning victories credit the coaching, the many practices, and the herculean individual efforts that created a team capable of such a win. To end our lives victoriously, we too will need a “Coach,” a game plan, and a support team. Heritage of Hope advocates teaming up for our fourth quarters to create a God-honoring strategy that will enable us to finish this life well. To that end, I ask three questions.
QUESTION #1: HAVE YOU SELECTED & LEGALLY EQUIPPED YOUR KEY PLAYERS?
TO HANDLE YOUR FINANCES AT THE END OF THIS LIFE, you will need an EXECUTOR on your team. If you have set up a trust in addition to your will, you need to appoint a SUCCESSOR TRUSTEE instead of an executor. Above financial acumen, this person needs to be trustworthy. Many people need assistance in handling their finances long before they die. Criminals know this and prey upon the elderly. If you do not appoint responsible people with the legal authority to oversee your financial affairs before your decline, you may become a victim of elder fraud. How much better to be humble enough to recognize that you may need assistance as you age and select honorable people to be on your team. If you do not have a trusted person to serve in this capacity, it is possible to hire a PROFESSIONAL FIDUCIARY sometimes known as a conservator. If you do not make these arrangements yourself, your family will be forced to take legal action. Unfortunately, going through the court to become a CONSERVATOR for a loved one is a time-consuming, expensive, and public process in which the elderly person whose finances will be overseen is proven to be incompetent. An entire estate can be liquidated before this legal process is complete. In comparison, it is relatively simple, inexpensive and private to set up a Financial Power of Attorney for your EXECUTOR, SUCCESSOR TRUSTEE, or personally selected FIDUCIARY/CONSERVATOR.
TO OVERSEE YOUR CARE, you will need to appoint a primary and secondary MEDICAL REPRESENTATIVE on your team. They need not be a doctor or a nurse. Certainly, they do need the personal strength to carry out your wishes when others may disagree whether that opposition is from a family member or medical personnel. Their authority comes from you informing them of your wishes in some detail and giving them legal authority by means of a notarized Medical Power Of Attorney. Do realize the role of medical representative can be a time-consuming and lengthy responsibility. Spouses often fill the role of Medical Representative. A son or daughter may step up lovingly or a close friend. However, you may be single or the surviving spouse with no children able or near enough to take on this role. Many circumstances can create the need for a professional GUARDIAN. We typically think of a guardian as a relative or close friend we appoint to take care of our minor children. However, the term GUARDIAN can also refer to a professional person you’ve arranged to manage your care. Again, it is less expensive, more expedient and private to make your own arrangements as opposed to a court-appointed guardian. Like a Medical Power of Attorney, Guardianship Papers give medical personnel permission to talk with your guardian at the same time they give your guardian the authority to make decisions on your behalf. It is humbling to anticipate such needs, but doing so can save us and our loved ones much grief.
QUESTION#2: IS YOUR GAME PLAN COMPLETE?
After you have selected your team’s key players and empowered them with legal documents, your next task is to work with them to create and optimize your game plan. Should you have a medical emergency, does your team know your preferences? If you died suddenly, can the appropriate team member access your legal documents and readily deal with your finances and final arrangements?
FOR YOUR EXECUTOR OR SUCCESSOR TRUSTEE: Heritage of Hope offers you the Letter of Instructions which can be downloaded from our website. Persevering to fill out this rather lengthy form will hopefully provoke or streamline your own organization. Subsequently discussing your Letter of Instructions with your Executor or Successor Trustee will give them the familiarity with your affairs that they would need to serve you well. Since this extensive form is a word document, it can be expanded or condensed to meet your particular needs.
FOR YOUR GUARDIAN OR MEDICAL REPRESENTATIVE: we suggest you work together to formulate your approach to medical personnel, to your decline, and to death.
- Regarding your approach to medical professionals, the crucial question is Who is the decision-maker? The doctor or you? Being Mortal and Hard Conversations is an informative resource written by a doctor who advocated for his father. It is worth the read as the author has been on both sides of those hard conversations.
- Regarding your possible decline, the Health section of your Heritage of Hope Workbook contains three pages of questions to help you anticipate potential changes in your health status. Why not explore your options now and create your own individual 4th Quarter Game Plan? Discussing these options with your medical rep and the rest of your team members will help them ascertain the points of transition when you may need assistance and inform them of your preferences. For example, I have one social friend who thought she would prefer assisted living. Another thought she could live anywhere as long as she had a tree outside her window. Others would rather live in their own home all their days. Be sure to discuss your relational and ministry goals as well as your decline. Our individual needs and resources vary so greatly! A living situation that would make one person content would depress another.
- It is most helpful, even imperative that we discuss our own death. Do you wish to die in a hospital or in your own home with the assistance of Hospice? While the Five Wishes form is not valid in all states, it does bring up many subjects to consider about the actual dying process. We suggest that you do not put your preferences on such forms but do discuss them with your medical rep, so those who wish to serve you may do according to your wishes. (Reference other blogs that discuss this more.)
QUESTION #3: HAVE YOU COACHED YOUR TEAM?
Each team member may be uniquely qualified to support you in your last days, but it is helpful if they learn to work together before your death is eminent. Such team work is the goal of the family or team meetings advocated in the Heart section of Heritage of Hope. However, some teams will not actually come together until after a death. This was the case with Jesus. (I am taking the liberty of classifying His Upper Room Discourse, John 13-17, as Jesus Team Meeting.) Even so, Jesus persevered and carefully instructed and comforted his disciples. Later, they remembered his words and acted upon them. As we work to equip our support team and complete our own 4th quarter game plans, may we recognize Jesus is the real Coach of our team. Whether or not our team is immediately on board, let us bathe our plans in prayer and be obedient to the One who knows when our game is complete. For each of you reading this, I pray a victorious finish to this life, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
