WHY MULTIGENERATIONAL? When retirees combine their housing needs with those of younger families, there can be multiple benefits. More than 100 examples of such interdependent living situations are the focus of Together Again: A Creative Guide to Successful Multigenerational Living. The oft-repeated advantage for the generation raising children is assistance with child care. The kiddos themselves enjoy experience-rich relationships with their grandparents. Some of the children learn gardening, others musical instruments, while still others treasure the stories told to them about life in former times. For the older adults, loneliness is mitigated as they again became a contributing member of a household. Their own care at the end of life is less arduous and less expensive due to their proximity to multiple family members.

THE BENEFITS of multigenerational living are repeatedly verified whenever my husband’s siblings recall the five years they lived on their grandparents’ farm during the late fifties. One hilarious story after another comes forth, but always we hear about Grandpa’s driving them to Catholic school on icy roads, his inability to kill a chicken, and how extremely delicious was Grandma’s fresh-baked bread every Friday. Whenever his siblings recall good times, the farm years always come up! My husband’s family experienced first-hand the many advantages of multigenerational living arrangements. Whatever the pros and cons for the adults, the children are mightily blessed.

WORKS WORLDWIDE: Except for the United States during the last fifty years, three-generation households have been the norm around the world and throughout history, p.114. No matter what continent you consider, the American culture is unique in emphasizing the nuclear family unit over the benefits of the multigenerational living. In the United States, “failure to launch” is the negative term used to describe young adults who are still abiding in the parental home. In actuality, rising housing prices make independence in young adulthood and the early stages of one’s career financially challenging in the extreme. Many families have negotiated multigenerational living arrangements so that their young people may return to the parental home, contribute nominal rent as adults in order to pay off student loans, and/or save money for a down payment on a home of their own. Doesn’t this sound more like co-operative problem solving than a failure to reach responsible adulthood?

THE ESSENTIAL REQUIREMENT: According to the authors, the first and essential requirement for successful multigenerational living is liking each other. It is expected that we love our family members, and we are committed to them, but there are those we may not like very much. Such relatives are not good candidates for this interdependent lifestyle. One of the major factors in deciding to live together is whether or not family members like each other, p.57. All the advantages of multigenerational living are as dependent upon healthy relationships and good communication skills as they are upon convenient floor plans.

OTHER OPTIONS: Of course, multigenerational living is not a new idea, but its benefits are being remembered afresh in this nation of aging baby boomers. For the eldest generation, there are other options, of course.

  • Assisted Living offers companionship, activities, and prepared meals. It has numerous advantages, but it is increasingly expensive. Currently, the cost of assisted living for one person per month ranges from one thousand to eleven thousand dollars per month with an average of four thousand dollars per month. Few Social Security checks will cover such costs. The isolating restrictions imposed during COVID also give one pause.
  • Living alone appeals to the independent soul who likes their privacy and quiet. However, the solitary lifestyle becomes more difficult and dangerous over time. It is known that communities keep people healthy. There is even an increase in longevity called the Roseto Effect wherever there is community, p.66. Accordingly, Nanny flats, in-law-units, and accessory apartments are other options to be considered by those who wish to live relatively “alone.” If multigenerational living is not for you, The Village concept, and Meals on Wheels are community efforts to counter the negative aspects of seniors living in isolation.
  • Multigenerational living can be less expensive for the elders, they are not isolated, and they have a say about their activities and food intake. What is particularly unique about multigenerational living is that the older participants are typically not seen as liabilities but as valuable members of a household.

TOGETHER AGAIN: draws from the stories of more than 100 families to describe a variety of ways to achieve privacy and quiet times within this interdependent lifestyle. Having proximity with privacy is the primary key to success, p. 92. If such a carefully negotiated interdependence appeals to you, I suggest you read Together Again: A Creative Guide to Successful Multigenerational Living. It will stimulate your thinking and problem-solving with the input of numerous innovative families on floor plans and living arrangements as well as relational essentials. Courteous respect for one another’s privacy and space is essential as well as floor plans conducive to the same.